i'm not a girl, not yet a woman. -Britney.

I used to thinkI had the answers to everything
But now I knowLife doesn't alwaysGo my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middleThat's when I realize...
[Chorus]I'm not a girlNot yet a womam
All I need is timeA moment that is mine
While I'm in between[Verse 2]
I'm not a girlThere is no need to protect me
Its time that ILearn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than u know now
Don't tell me to shut my eyes
I'm not a girlNot yet a woman
All I need is timeA moment that is mineWhile I'm in between
I'm not a girl
But if u look at me closelyYou will see it my eyes
This girl will always findHer wayI'm not a girl(I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe)Not Yet a woman(I'm just tryin to find the woman in me, yeah)
All I need is time (All I need)A moment that is mine (That is mine)
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girlNot yet a woman (not now)
All I need is time (is All I need)A moment that is mine
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girlNot yet a woman

♥ Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Monday and Tuesday(29/10, 30/10)
hmmm, these two days have been O levels. monday got english paper1 and 2 AND maths paper 1. shag! den today maths paper2. english quite ogay for miie. guess wad, the compre is about astrology and horoscopes. i super high! (: for maths, forever veh tough. i jus hope either D7 or C6, not E or F. if nt reali xia suay!!!!

HAHAHA. now then my holidays are starting! YES! so happy.

and hope to see ppl i haven seen for quite some time too. and thanks junyu,cheryl,yiwei and donovan who kept encouraging miie and told miie not to give up. i reali appreciate.

♥ Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Emotions:
i somehow feel veh lost. feel as though my soul is being detached from myself. i drift away from conversations and thoughts. so many sleepless nights, but don even noe wth im thinking about. like a million piece of puzzle tht i need a lot of time for me to complete. i know i need frens at this point of time. but i just cant face anyone wid my real emotions, real me. i rather hide somewhere tt i reali hate-home, where no one ask or even notice tht u are sad. there, i can cry as much as i want. i don have to suppress my tears till i wana suffocate and die. i hate crying infront of pple. i hate it. and if someone forces me, i will reali hate tt person, like i hate S-W now.
for some reason, i still hope t tell tt particular fren of mine how i reali feel and show my real emotions, but well, i noe im not tt shameless after all to say i reali need you anymore. should i like just let go, instead of holding on so tightly? if onli i noe all the answers in life, to make the right decisons. if onli im selfish, i wont be in such sorry state now.

Thursday(25/10)
went to skool, den self dismissal right aftr PE.
den went to Jurong entertainment centre to sup. wid may-bong's grp and huimin.
so contented being FULL.
den met up wid yiwei to go home tgtr. but i wana apologise, i couldnt crack any words out. i was suppressing .

Wednesday(24/10)
yupp. OCS. no matter how sian bout gg skool, i still wanted to go. well, tts the last outing we will have as a class. edlyn, huimin, zhiwei, and huixia. hmmm. 7 months of frenship. i dowan to tink tt it will end soon. but i reali cant convince tt we'll still be tt close aftr next yr.
but well, something im sure about, is tt i will sure miss eds , huimin and even zhiwei.
miss all the craps, laughter and even tears we gone thru tgtr. (:



On Tuesday(23/10)

had a 5 hrs walk on civilized and uncivilized areas in singpore. wid fadly and benny. well, nature is reali GOD's / GODS' gift to everyone. reali nice- even is in Singapore.

♥ Friday, October 26, 2007

today we got back our results.
wah lao. dowan to talk bout it la.
terrible lo. haiis, reali got nothing to say la. cos is like im the one who din work hard de ma. so well, too bad.

yesterday night couldnt sleep. was Bright Awake lorr.
bout two plus i slept. den rain, i woke up. lol. den sleep agn, den got sms wake up at 6 plus, sleep agn, 7 plus got sms. alamak. reali becoming a Panda liao. den this morning still rain. i purposely went skool late ah, 830 den took train from khatib. when i stepped inside e hall, wow, so accurate lor. not too late not too early.
im quite confuse now la, cos i duno my directions in life.
i mean, fri is over alr wad, the promotional exercise. den still die die dowan tell us whether we promote or retain. wah lao. i mean, if they dowan say, den don make it so obvious la. like so hanging in the air. wth. haiis. Whatever la. so sian.

Now, at yiwei hse, later gg watch movie- The Dna duno wad la. got quite a lot of movies nowadays la. got Brothers, got a veh scary ghost movie from japan, and quite a few.
im gg to enjoy today and tmrw will be dead. YUPP!
Thats All.

♥ Monday, October 22, 2007

skool is boring la.
not pon skool means pon lessons. Self-Declare Dismissal. as wad cheryl say miie everyday. lol

haiis, so sian.
monday: no skool. i stayed at home and slept till 12 plus den wake up. wahahah. den cheryl and yiwei came my hse to crap. but dinner tme den they go home le.

tuesday: went skool. nothing to do de lorr. except maths. i dunno how to do la! sian sian sian.
miie edz and mint pon mgt. hahah! den went jurong east and ate swensens. my stomach FULL till~~~ cannot laugh. laugh till everythin will puke out sehh. lol.

wed:PON skool! haha. watch tv and sms the whole day. zZZzzzz. veh boring but better den gg skool for whole day chinese. o.O

thurs: today. haha, went skool but pon GP(tcher nvr come) and Econs. went off after the hari raya concert den go eat MOS wid edz,mint and kzw. haha sibei song. cos is like we REN not to eat canteen food la. haha. aftr PE somemore. we played CAPTAIN's BALL. heh heh. we got this dirty discussion in maths lesson ahh. cos is lik the ppl playing captain ball scream like siao. like doing "some exercise" HAHAHAHA. and the cow ah, when we play hit my Xiong Qian so SO hard. degrading one cup liao. WTF, her fren still say i don even have lorr. well, i got Big heart don wan quarrel wid her. cos hers is like super big la. compare to hers reali idoilt la. mine sure changi airway de. lol. den donovan came fetch miie, den we fetch cheryl den go his hse. junyu is on her way. forever so slow. tsk tsk tsk.

friday:no skool. promotional day. sure veh sian. I VEH SCARED!!! but i tink retain oso good la. cos i missed out a lot.

sunday: canoeing!! hopefully our plan goes well. hahah.

*hope my life will be more fun! yea.

♥ Thursday, October 18, 2007

well, gg back to skool wasnt as good and happy as i thought.
i will change url very often. haha. very obvious reason tt i don tink i hav to spell it out.
wanna post pic, but the usb cable or my phone got something wrong. ):

well, now, tt fren of mine, can reali break or make my mood.
i somehow still have not get used of him/her not close wid miie anymore.
guess i need more time.

i duno now, my EQ is dropping, i cannot hide my emotions anymore. wth, and im losing myself. in terms of my real character. haiis. no matter wad, i don wana show my true emotions anymore. i guess ppl ard miie jus wan to see the happy side of miie. and not the sad/emo part.
i' feeling more and more lonely alr. without tt fren of mine, i seem lost. i have no one to depend on, no one to give miie veh wise advice, no one to listen to miie anymore. i feel like breaking down alr. i feel so suffocated. but i duno who to turn to cos, they may nvr noe how i reali feel and wad the real situation. i just have to learn to keep things to myself. not everyone has the patience to listen.

suddenly i can feel not having close frens is reali very painful and lonely.
well, The Truths Always Bring You Back To Reality
why isit so hard to trust ppl now? i trust ppl wholeheartedly before i stepped into MI. why am i changed now? why is it tt i cant accept changes? why is it i can spot pple's flaws easily and not spot pple's positive points in their character? is my problem. can time just go faster?
im just a little more fortunate cos i got cheryl junyu and yiwei. but we arent close frens tt can stick to each other anymore. we are in difernt skools. no one will be there for each other in times of danger. but they are part of my life alr.

pertaining to priorities,
he was my first priority.
but i don have 2nd,3rd,4th......
he was jus naturally my priority.
i wont becos of losing this first priority and den jus look for another person or grp to fill this priority. guess, no one can ever be in tt place-no matter wad happn.
i jus cant open and tell ppl my probs. something tt i've changed over time. most of the time ppl tell miie their probs automatically. but when it comes to my problem, i will nvr wan to say unless the person probes. cos who knows if the person will feel irritated or cant be bothered to listen? i've tried saying them, but the ppl i tried telling, just gave miie rejected replies. im scared alr.

and results are still not out yet. so irritating.
im so nervous and my future still blurred.
i cant see carefully the path i want to choose.
i need some light.
i don wanna be alone.
i wan old miie back.

BLA~
i wan myself back!!!!!!
May My Soul Return.
lol!

♥ Friday, October 12, 2007

/mushimushi\
yesterday cut hair le. not veh short. not veh long oso la. haha! but indeed feel super light now. not so warm le. heh heh. and my Da Yi Ma still don wan go back xiang xia sia. GNN. flow here and there like nobody business. ):

anws, today was supposed to go sentosa de.
but, tt stupid junyu spoilt our plan, but nvrmd, she's forgiven.
we supposedly wanna go woodlands de, to eat SEOUL GARDEN. but, so suay, was under construction. den junyu[agn] and roy say bishan have, in the end, DON HAVE!
lol. so, went Pizza Hut den went Swensens to eat Earthquake Regular. (: mmmmmm. DELICIOUS. cant do without food. wahahahahahah!
wanna post pictures BUT nw at donovan's hse, don have sony erricsion USB cable. so bobian.
post some days this week beh!
Donovan's mum is super good at cooking lorr. *slurps* i have the feeling of family love! tt i haven felt for a long long time. [super super fulllllllll now] +burps

tmrw skool starting. kinda scared but excited at the same time. well. hope everything will be fine. (=

♥ Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Chinese Version (:
Jolin Tsai-AgentJ
一个人 [Alone]

从皮包里抽出我们的照片

沙发又移到客厅的另一边

晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟

已经没有什么人会埋怨

今天阴天 今天又是星期天

唯一的打算是醒得晚一些

反正我不知道怎样打发时间

出门或不出门 没差别

一个人 到底应该是右边或左边

两个人 每一次争吵都值得纪念

一个人 偶尔感到寂寞在所难免

你的气味 还留在枕头边

一个人 我重新适应一切不方便

两个人 不一定就成全一个世界

一个人 关灯看见记忆的横切面

没有光线 过去那些情节 更明显

Funny English Version - heh heh
I fished out our photo from my little purse
I pushed the sofa to the other side of the living room
After dinner, you can then puff more.
There will be no one to blame
Sunny day, cloudy day and today, again its sunday.
The only plan for me will be waking up a little later.
Since i don't know how to spend my time
Going out or not, doesn't make any difference.
Being alone, not knowing whether to sleep right or left side.
Two people, even a quarrel can also be a precious memory.
Being alone, feeling lonely is inevitable.
Your smell still lingers around the pillow.
Alone, i tried adapting whatever inconvenience
Two people, doesn't mean satisfying one world.
Alone, switching off lights, able to see pieces of memories.
Without light, the memories are much more clearer-to me.

This song is by Jolin Tsai new album, Agent J
very nice, touching.
lol.
the english version, super funny. this shows that we really cant direct translate chinese to english. muahahahahah!
(:

anyways, the 2nd last day before skool reopen le.
hmmm. its oso the day to see if its PROMOTE RETAIN or WITHDRAW.
lets seee eee eeeee .

♥ Monday, October 08, 2007

i wish i can just close my eyes, and allow time to fly as fast as it can.

♥ Sunday, October 07, 2007

yesterday,
met pearlin to practise our O maths tgtr. we met at AMK hub. ate subway! (:
den wanted to go Mac and do de, but saturday, so many ppl can. hahah.
so we decided to go Toa Payoh library. who knows, so many ppl agn! lol.
we sat at one cosy corner. okay not exactly very cosy cos a lot of ppl keep disturbing us, looking at the books and listen to our conversation!! haha. we shared quite a lot of tings tgtr veh naturally. though she is still somehow veh quiet,but im gg to make her more talkertive. muahahah. then we went Novena to shop for her bag, but couldnt find. maybe acc her nx time to find agn ba. (:

then after tt, went to meet the girls.
talked a lot till 1230am den we went home.
everyone veh veh tired. more of mentally.
but it had been a long time since everyone talked and contributed.
well, no matter wad, its still good for us to talk. and we all know each others' thinking and know we still do love each other a lot.
without them, my life will nvr be the same anymore.
they are the ones who make miie stand firm on believing in true frenship.
thank you pple.
who have always been there for miie, no matter wad.

whatever and ever, haha. i look forward gg back to skool!
i miss laughing. with the crazy pple in MI.
and though there are still Mi Tian Gongs, but,it seems okay now alr.
this month will be a crucial month for miie. i just have to get over this month, rainbow will be awaiting for miie. muahahahah! JIAYOU(:



hate them-i still do.

♥ Sunday, October 07, 2007

ytd chinese lit was reali terrible can.
we are supposed to do 7 qns. i tink i did 3 and a half qn. DIE. i reali no mood to do. plus i din study. so all was based on e tings i heard in class. and GNN. i jus have to accept myself failing chinese agn and agn. wahlao. a subjest tt i best at last time.

Hmmm. ytd went to Vivocity.
cheryl, junyu and donovan came to westmall and pick miie up. veh sweet right. haha.
ate pasta mania, den took a taxi to Vivo, and royston came den went eat Ben&jerry's den.. go watch Lust&caution-NC16. lol. though its censored alr, but but, still got a lot of 'sex' involved. kinda make miie sleep la, but the story line is still not bad. the actor and actresses did a great job though. DONOVAN sleep till his saliva nearly dripped! so i quickly call him up. HAHAHA!

though i reali enjoyed their company and was happy, but i just cant stop thinking about tt fren of mine. and gg back skool ytd was kinda torturing and gg vivocity cos tt's the onli place tt don have our happy frenship memories.
and reali, losing a close important fren is like losing ur bf/gf. personally, i tink is much worse la. is like bf/gf after breaking up, if ur heart is BIG enuff, u ppl can still be frens. but frens, after "breaking" each others trust, is like u two will be strangers. well, i reali cant change any fact now. i just hope time can change or make tings better. even if i reali cant be ur close fren nw or nt someone u will wan to hav to share ur probs, or be by ur side whenever u need, but, its like i hope im still someone who can brighten up ur day! but im still afraid of having a more relax conversation wid u, cos i scared it'll drift us furthur liddat for some reason. let fate decide. somehow, i use my heart to solve many tings and not my brain. i still tink its a right ting using my heart to solve tings. Following My Heart.

now at donovan's hse. playing twister and Stacko. HAHAHA! so farn. tiring oso. my bones breaking. sat/sun den i upload the piccs. =)
and i have a new cupboard!! they will sent to my hse later. heh heh.

♥ Friday, October 05, 2007

(:
happy for a start of new blog.

♥ Tuesday, October 02, 2007